15 October, 2014

I've been meaning to write

I've been meaning to write something here. Really. I have been writing, but somehow the rain falls, the clouds emerge from beneath me and it's back to stumbling in the mud.

You know that feeling of exhaustion you have after a marathon or a big bout of prolonged exercise? Or perhaps that feeling you get at the end of a busy week? Now multiply that by 20 and the fact that no matter how much you try to rest, it never goes away. You'll be getting close.

No, I don't have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. Those are made up conditions that live all in people's minds. People with those diagnoses are just babies with mental health issues and need to just suck it up and deal. (Please note sarcasm is present here. This health professional has been hearing this rubbish even from other health professionals.)

I don't have those conditions. Just sayin'...

So, have you ever had a rug pulled out from under you? Or been around your house where you know you are alone and everything is in place, but then you walk a second circuit around the house and discover that everything has moved, even though you didn't touch it?

Say, you walk out of the house you have been living in years. You know your neighbours, what their houses look like, what their cars look like and can even recognise the shapes of all the trees and bushes. Blink and look again. They've changed.

Now you look up at the sky, it's a clear sky. Night and full of stars. Blink and all you see are clouds. Brown clouds.

Everyone knows what a suburban street looks like right? Nature strips, trees, concrete driveway, concrete gutters, black tarred road of asphalt or bitumen or whatever that stuff is called. Nup. It's gone. It's a dust road with pebbly gutters and ruts as deep as your ankle.

You know where you live and the general surrounding area? Now you're in a town you've never seen before and yet seem to kind of know your way around.

It's like waking in another world, with a different family, different friends, in a different time and hey. You've even changed ages. Perhaps genders. Social norms are different. People talk different... and what side of the bed did you get out of this morning that your house has disappeared behind you as you walked out the door.

Yeah. Nothing is as it seems.
Cliche, right?
Only, it's almost true and I feel like crying.

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