I collect transcripts of some of the shows I like to keep an eye on. Video/audio doesn't always work, but text rarely ever fails. I couldn't find the transcript of the 5 mini-episodes, called Pond Life, preceding episode one of season 7 for the new Doctor Who, and so because it was relatively short comparing to an actual episode, I tried doing the transcript myself. My first. I've never done it before. More avid fans might be able to give a bit more detail on certain aspects, so let me know if I've made any mistakes.
Doctor Who
Season 7 Prequel
Pond Life
Writer: Chris Chibnall
Director: Saul Metzstein
Producer: Denise Paul
PART 1
Screen type: APRIL
INT: Alien station
Metal doors slide open, to reveal the Doctor carrying a white surfing board. The air is full of smoke.
DOCTOR
Hello, Ponds! Checking in!
There is another door in front of the Doctor, which opens to reveal suited soldiers with guns. He turns around to go back the other way, but there are more soldiers there with guns.
DOCTOR
Really?
He turns to the side and throws his surfboard down off the edge of the station.
DOCTOR
Not much to report. Surfed the fires of Floridor 9. Not deliberately, just the easiest way out.
He looks back at the soldiers and then jumps down after the surfboard with a long yell.
DOCTOR
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
INT. Paris hotel room
Cut to another scene where he holds a slightly singed bread bun on a stick, in front of the fire. A woman in period dress walks into screen in the background and the Doctor slowly turns around.
DOCTOR
Met Meta Harriet in a Paris hotel room.
The scene cuts to a view looking at the Doctor from between the woman' legs and her dress drops to the ground. The Doctor stares, stunned.
DOCTOR
What an interesting woman.
INT. Recording studio
Cut to a music studio where the Doctor is in the recording room with headset and microphones and a baseball cap on backwards, dancing goofily to R&B music playing.
DOCTOR
Laid down some backing vocals.
INT. TARDIS console room
Cut to the Doctor running around the TARDIS console, pressing buttons and pulling levers.
DOCTOR
I should be with you any day now. Literally any day now. Helmic regulator's playing up. Can't get the temporal steering right.
A bell dings.
INT. Ponds' house
Cut scene to a house phone sitting in a cradle in the Ponds' house. Rory has just poured them both a glass of red wine.
DOCTOR VO
Oh dear, it looks like the engine's grease.
Rory leans on the table while from the phone there is a whooshing sound of something releasing steam/ pressure and the Doctor yells.He presses the delete button with a beep. Amy and Rory toast/salute the Doctor with their glasses and drink.
AMY
The Doctor.
PART 2
INT.Ponds' bedroom
Dark, bluish light with a view of a wooden door from the floor. The TARDIS whooshing can be heard and a light from behind the closed wooden door glows in time to the sound of the TARDIS materialising.
Screen type: MAY
Amy and Rory are sleeping in bed. The Doctor enters the room. Amy and Rory half sit up/ prop themselves up in bed in surprise. The Doctor slaps his hands over his eyes.
DOCTOR
Oh! Stop everything!
Amy gives a surprised whoop, holding the bed sheets up over her chest.
RORY
What's going on?
AMY
Doctor. Bedroom.
The Doctor peeks out from under his hand.
RORY
We have a RULE about the bedroom.
DOCTOR (all serious, putting hands on hips by the end of his spiel)
No one is safe on this planet right now. We have to solve this before it's too late. Get your clothes on - if we're fast enough we at least stand a chance and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
AMY and RORY (together)
No.
The Doctor looks annoyed and walks back out of the bedroom.
DOCTOR
Hel-mic regulator again. Too early. Wrong point. As you were.
AMY
Doctor, you can't just go like that. What's happening? Don't we need to know?
The Doctor pops back into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed next to Amy.
DOCTOR
Popped back in the wrong order, easy mistake. Nothing to alarm you. Forget I was ever here. I'll be back soon enough, I would have thought. Everything's fine, pretty much. (Gets up and walks backwards to the door) Don't worry about the future. The future's really...
Flash montage of Amy and Rory running, a triangular sort of space ship flying in space in a loop, the Doctor running on a beach toward a cliff.
DOCTOR
...safe. (continues walking backwards to door)
Another flash montage of sassy robot, Doctor fixing a teleporter on the floor with Amy and Rory nearby, pterodactyls flying around outside a cave in a cliff, 2 T-rex dinosaurs on a spaceship, A panel flashing big red WARNING sign, missiles flying into the small space ship and the ship exploding.
DOCTOR
... Really, really safe. (continues walking backwards to door)
Amy and Rory stare at him.
DOCTOR (whispers)
Sleep well.
The Doctor closes the door softly behind him. We hear the TARDIS engine starting up. Amy and Rory lie back in their bed and stare up at the ceiling. Rory has crossed his arms across his chest.
RORY
I really hate it when he does that.
PART 3
INT. Ponds' house
View of the top of the narrow steps in the Pond house and Rory coming out of the bedroom tying on a dressing gown.
Screen type: JUNE
Rory walks down the steps, hops up ones closer to the camera that we can't see and turns to the left, off screen. We hear a door open and close.
RORY VO
WHOA!
Rory rushes back out onto screen and puts his hands to his face, looking stunned. Amy comes out of the bedroom in her pyjamas.
View from inside the bathroom. We can just see the back of someone to the left of the screen. Rory opens the door and walks in with his eyes shut. He opens his eyes and goes back out. He meets Amy outside the bathroom and puts one hand out to block her way into the bathroom. Amy looks at him.
AMY
Out of the way, Mr Pond.
Rory gives a little shake of his head and presses his lips together, eyes looking left and right.
AMY
What? Why not?
Rory give the little shake of his head again. Tilts his head toward the bathroom and then stands back, opening the door for Amy to go in and see for herself. Amy goes in, gives a little start and Rory steps in behind her with lips still pressed together. They stare. It's an Ood sitting on the toilet, his glowing communication orb in hand.
OOD
May I be - of any - assistance?
The communication globe turns off. Amy and Rory continue to stare.
RORY
Ood on the loo.
AMY
Yeah.
The Ood blinks.
PART 4
INT. TARDIS
It's dark and the central part goes up and down. TARDIS engine noise whooshes in background in time to lights.
Screen type: JULY
Some lights flash on the console and the camera goes down to show the Doctor under the TARDIS trying to fix it with his goggles on. He's on the phone.
DOCTOR
Ood. Yes. I was wondering where he'd got to. I thought he'd just gone for a walk in the TARDIS.
INT. Ponds' kitchen
Amy and Rory are having breakfast and the phone is on another table on loudspeaker.
DOCTOR (continues)
Must've wandered in when I popped in the other night. (Amy stabs a sausage with her fork and starts eating it.) If it was the other night. You know, I rescued him from the middle of the Androvax Conflict. (Rory points at their breakfast and blows up his cheeks, shaking his head mockingly) I was taking him back to the Ood's Sphere.
INT. Under the TARDIS console
The Doctor in his goggles.
DOCTOR (continues)
Anyway, he's not being a nuisance, is he?
INT. Ponds' house
The Ood stands dispensing/ handing out Amy's floral laptop bag and Rory's lunch box for the day.
OOD
Enjoy your work day experience.
Rory flashes a white card as if to thank the Ood, not knowing what to say.
Montage of scenes showing the Ood making beds, hanging up washing and washing windows.
RORY VO
Doctor? Doctor... He, uhm, seems to think he's out butler.
Rory is in kitchen talking on phone, Amy sitting at kitchen table, both watching the Ood washing the window outside.
INT. Under the TARDIS Console
The Doctor stoops amongst the wires hanging from the ceiling, talking on the phone.
DOCTOR
He's conditioned to serve. You know, the best thing is, let him do just that. I'll come and pick him up tonight, whenever tonight is.
An alarm sounds and red light flashes on the Doctor's face.
DOCTOR
Oh, no, gotta go. Power drain's threatening to cause the TARDIS to implode.
INT. Ponds' kitchen
Rory has his lips pressed together.
DOCTOR VO
Oh, no, that's bad. Nononono, don't do that!
Rory walks away from window.
Cut to the Ponds sitting down at the kitchen table. The Ood has a white apron on and is serving their coffee. They already have plates of food in front of them. They give the Ood small, strained smiles of thanks.
OOD
Your infusions. How else may I be of service?
The Ood holds up his communication globe. Rory leans in toward Amy.
RORY
I feel so guilty.
AMY
Just eat your breakfast.
They both take a drink and look up at the Ood.
AMY and RORY together (awkward)
Mmmmm.
PART 5
EXT. TARDIS is out somewhere green.
There is an old wooden ladder next to the TARDIS and the Doctor is fixing the TARDIS light.
Screen type: August
DOCTOR
Ponds, me again. Sorry about the gaps in communications. Dropped your Ood back home, reconnected it to the Hive Mind.
INT. Ponds' house
Hear the Doctor's voice coming out of the phone on the table. He is leaving a message.
DOCTOR VO
Helmic regulator's still not working...
EXT. TARDIS
Doctor is climbing down the ladder.
DOCTOR
... Got hit by an arrow on Hastings Hill. Also rode a horse through 11th century Coventry.
INT. A room with furs and stick wall separators...
Doctor is making dough and sitting across from him is an asian ?Mongol dressed sort of man, scoffing dough bits from another bowl and both of them laughing. The Doctor rubs his belly as if to say, 'good, yeah?'.
DOCTOR
Also, also, I-I think I may have invented pasta.
EXT. Outside the Ponds' front door
The Doctor rings the door bell and waits expectantly holding a black umbrella. It's raining. Nothing happens and he presses the door bell three more times in quick succession. He looks up.
DOCTOR
I popped 'round, but you were out.
INT. Ponds' house
Phone in the cradle on table, recording message.
DOCTOR VO
Which is fine.
EXT. Ponds' front door
Doctor stands at front door with umbrella, looking disappointed. He walks back down the street to where the TARDIS is parked on the roadside. There is thunder with the rain.
DOCTOR VO
Everything is fine isn't it?
EXT. Ponds' front door
Slow motion - just the Doctor's voice over and the background strings music. Amy is chasing Rory out of the house. Rory carries his coat and shakes his head in anger.
DOCTOR VO
With you two? 'Course it is. Ponds always fine...
Amy mouths after Rory: GET OUT!
EXT. TARDIS
The Doctor is standing in the doorway of the TARDIS, talking on his red phone.
DOCTOR
... Just, just worrying unnecessarily. Anyway, just call me if you need me.
EXT. Ponds' house
Amy stands looking out after Rory, puts her hand to her mouth and is crying.
DOCTOR VO
Toodle pip.
EXT. TARDIS
Doctor standing in the doorway worrying. He takes out his sonic screwdriver and points it at the red phone, deleting the message on the Ponds' phone.
INT. Ponds' house where the phone sits.
The number of messages on the the phone can be seen in red: 01
There is a beep and the phone says in a woman's voice: Message deleted.
The number of messages turns to: 00
EXT. TARDIS
The Doctor's screw driver whirs. The Doctor still looks worried.
INT. Ponds house where the phone sits
The front door in the background of the screen opens and closes. Amy walks in. She drops her stuff and then comes to see if there are any messages on the phone. She looks in front of her.
AMY
We need you, Raggedy Man.
Amy looks up.
AMY
I need you.
Long shot on Amy.
Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts
26 September, 2012
03 January, 2011
unscheduled
Some days writing something here is not a top priority - like when you need to go save the world from being blown up by megalomaniacs or when you've been royally summoned by the current monarch of Terebinthia or when there's been a dalek invasion or when someone is trying to bring cybermen back to life and the Doctor's no where in sight. Then there are the times the Queen has ordered you to go on a super-secret mission and you might disappear for weeks; times SG10 have lost their DHD and can't dial home from a hostile planet and need rescuing; times Atlantis is under attack again and Rodney McKay has accidentally been locked in a room that he is having trouble getting out of because there is a saboteur fighting him over the network systems; times Brennan and Beckett have gotten themselves kidnapped, into deep water and you're the only person who can tell Booth and Castle where to find them - then there's the trouble of getting through the bad guys to get to them. There are also the times when the toilet falls apart or you've forgotten to muck out the chickens' stalls and feed or water them for three days and they are in danger of dying or the washing machine is bubbling or the microwave blew up or the pressure cooker blew up or you just plum need some rest from all the work you've been doing (such as the above).
Yeah. Sometimes this becomes a much less priority when you have to fight to keep your job and to avoid having to repeat a whole 4 years of training all over again... and haven't been well for the entirety of the first holiday longer than a day that you've had this year. Ok. So what if I'm exaggerating? You get the gist.
It's not like anybody bothers even staring at my ants marching across the screen. I mean, where does that get fun? No colours, no pretty pictures, just using your imagination to see the landscape from the top of the steep cliff where the clouds are your neighbours, icy breezes comb their fingers through your hair and below you... well. Below you are clouds of green. Like the tops of broccoli. A whole sea of them. They could well be a mass of green-dyed, afro-style hair-dos. Every now and then, a warmer whiff of air rises from below and brings the smell of wet earth, growing things and ammonia. From this position, you can see the edge of the forest and what direction you should be going in, but once beneath the trees you know you are likely to lose all sense of orientation as the sun goes hides behinds layers and layers of clouds, dooming you to wander lost in the bush/forest for the rest of the days of your life - forcing you to become a wildman/woman that scavenges and fights with the animals for survival in this place so unlike the city with its shops and fast food. You don't even know what plants are likely to be edible, much less animals and you don't even want to think of what insects might taste like, although the thought of grubs and giant beetles is beginning to seem rather meaty - more and more edibly appetising. This thought makes you want to cry. You might never see your new yellow Bumblebee car again.
It's like when we had DOS. Everything was words on the screen and you couldn't even scroll to see what it said before. If you forgot the instructions from the screen before, well, too bad. Either you had to repeat the command and read 200 words per second or you just made something up and went with the flow. Now we can have multiple windows, scroll up and down and even have dinky things like hyperlinks in the form of a picture button thing. Guess times change.
So this is me ranting. Ranting for no particular reason. Crying to deaf ears that cannot hear me through this screen and to blind eyes who will read this post and do a double take. 'What is this mad woman going on about? She can't even spell appetising right!' Americans and their obsession with being different from the rest of the world. I don't have to spell it with a 'z' if I don't want to, ok? I'm feeling particularly stubborn today, so don't get me in the mood - cos I will fight you with a chainsaw. Maybe an axe. Or a sword and shield. Shield would be a good idea. Ok then. A longbow. Nah. Machine gun would be better. Over faster and less way you can run and hide.
Listen to me talk! I am in a murderous mood aren't I? I may have to run and hide from myself if that keeps up. I have found the majority of the Series 5 Doctor Who transcripts here: http://jpgr.livejournal.com/ But you will have to trawl through their archives to get it. I don't like their journal set up, because you can't search through past posts easily, but who am I to judge? It's not like my blog's set up any better. Still looking for 'A Christmas Carol' transcript. I've got all the other transcripts for the new Doctor Who to date. You can find them somewhere if you search google. There's a guy that has done 2005+ and has an archive of the classic series as well. I think. Go find it yourself. I can't be bothered right now finding out his web address (largely because I haven't yet learnt how to make links in HTML yet). I'll get to it one day. If anyone finds someone who has transcripts for the tv series Castle, please let me know. I'll be happy to hear from you.
For a long long day
And a long long night
We can sing this song
Give ourselves a fright
Until we're sick of it
And will have a fit
At least it's not
'This is a song that never ends...'
Yeah. Sometimes this becomes a much less priority when you have to fight to keep your job and to avoid having to repeat a whole 4 years of training all over again... and haven't been well for the entirety of the first holiday longer than a day that you've had this year. Ok. So what if I'm exaggerating? You get the gist.
It's not like anybody bothers even staring at my ants marching across the screen. I mean, where does that get fun? No colours, no pretty pictures, just using your imagination to see the landscape from the top of the steep cliff where the clouds are your neighbours, icy breezes comb their fingers through your hair and below you... well. Below you are clouds of green. Like the tops of broccoli. A whole sea of them. They could well be a mass of green-dyed, afro-style hair-dos. Every now and then, a warmer whiff of air rises from below and brings the smell of wet earth, growing things and ammonia. From this position, you can see the edge of the forest and what direction you should be going in, but once beneath the trees you know you are likely to lose all sense of orientation as the sun goes hides behinds layers and layers of clouds, dooming you to wander lost in the bush/forest for the rest of the days of your life - forcing you to become a wildman/woman that scavenges and fights with the animals for survival in this place so unlike the city with its shops and fast food. You don't even know what plants are likely to be edible, much less animals and you don't even want to think of what insects might taste like, although the thought of grubs and giant beetles is beginning to seem rather meaty - more and more edibly appetising. This thought makes you want to cry. You might never see your new yellow Bumblebee car again.
It's like when we had DOS. Everything was words on the screen and you couldn't even scroll to see what it said before. If you forgot the instructions from the screen before, well, too bad. Either you had to repeat the command and read 200 words per second or you just made something up and went with the flow. Now we can have multiple windows, scroll up and down and even have dinky things like hyperlinks in the form of a picture button thing. Guess times change.
So this is me ranting. Ranting for no particular reason. Crying to deaf ears that cannot hear me through this screen and to blind eyes who will read this post and do a double take. 'What is this mad woman going on about? She can't even spell appetising right!' Americans and their obsession with being different from the rest of the world. I don't have to spell it with a 'z' if I don't want to, ok? I'm feeling particularly stubborn today, so don't get me in the mood - cos I will fight you with a chainsaw. Maybe an axe. Or a sword and shield. Shield would be a good idea. Ok then. A longbow. Nah. Machine gun would be better. Over faster and less way you can run and hide.
Listen to me talk! I am in a murderous mood aren't I? I may have to run and hide from myself if that keeps up. I have found the majority of the Series 5 Doctor Who transcripts here: http://jpgr.livejournal.com/ But you will have to trawl through their archives to get it. I don't like their journal set up, because you can't search through past posts easily, but who am I to judge? It's not like my blog's set up any better. Still looking for 'A Christmas Carol' transcript. I've got all the other transcripts for the new Doctor Who to date. You can find them somewhere if you search google. There's a guy that has done 2005+ and has an archive of the classic series as well. I think. Go find it yourself. I can't be bothered right now finding out his web address (largely because I haven't yet learnt how to make links in HTML yet). I'll get to it one day. If anyone finds someone who has transcripts for the tv series Castle, please let me know. I'll be happy to hear from you.
For a long long day
And a long long night
We can sing this song
Give ourselves a fright
Until we're sick of it
And will have a fit
At least it's not
'This is a song that never ends...'
27 June, 2010
and as in uffish thought...
What I was writing has accidentally been deleted. I pressed the mouse button one too many times. But perhaps it is better this way. For I spoke of nidotia and mythoti, explothrout of videmovida or ecoleurotions and wishodrams. And these things are beyond words - not for consumption until such a time as they are deemed ready. So with a hey, nonny nonny, I will just womit; wordspill upon here in the meantime. See what happens.
When will the shadows be cleansed?
By hopeless tide of wishless dread?
Who will make shudder the wind blown chime what will shake the hidden time?
Ha! Thou hast not heard!
And thou knowest not the things of which have been spoken!
Sit a while and hearken unto me, and I will tell thee of mighty deeds. Thy troubles cannot be solved by my hand, but unto thee my wisdom may I impart.
When a hero doth travel far, by and by his companion shall be meet.
A companion may not be worthy of a name, for he is hidden in the shadow of a mane.
What mane? I speak not of lions, my friend, but of other things of which there is not any word in any tongue that may describe it.
A challenge shall be given forth, that the hero must surely overcome or perish in its sight.
His companion in all likelihood shall trouble the hero's challenge and complicate his quest.
There shall be betrayal and intrigue, thwarting and scheming. Of these are there many variants.
Shall there be romance? Shall there be friendship? Unless the hero be unreal, relationships must tangle, tackle and conquer.
Patience is a virtue to many, but to wait over time, shall require thee a price. And the price may be too high to pay.
Better yet, take thy manuscript and hide it beneath thy bed or amidst the rubbish. Nay, better yet, take thee thy writing and here must thou burn it. For it is better for it to never see the light of day.
Wilt thou proclaim thy righteousness and thy power over the pen? But humble thyself and behave wisely, and a thing shall come at opportune time to steal the moonlight from the den.
Replace the cap. There, thou art. Let the sun shine forth in all its glory. Never mind, never mind.
What? Wast years of thy work? Ha! It is good.
Laugh. It is gone. Breathe the fresh air.
Now go thou forth and renew it. Create it, mould it, shape it.
Let it become. That is what thy imagination is for, is it not?
Then in the uffish stillness hear, the whispered breath of slippered year.
There. See how thou art skilled?
What? That Doctor? That raggedy man?
Nay, nay, my friend. Again, I say nay. He is fictitious; felicitous though he may seem. A dangerous notion, if ever there were any.
Blue box?
Yes, in the past. I saw it. Of course. I met him. A delightful fellow.
Because he is! My dear fellow, just because he chooses one in billions, doth not mean he shall take even the slightest notice of thee. Therefore he is fictitious, for in reality, he can never be, for he erased himself out of time and mind.
What art thou to thy fellows?
Unique? Surely. In time thou shalt see and understand.
The former is no more. The new is come.
You have seen it? Nay, thou hast not truly seen.
Come and I shall show it thee.
Now you see? Canst thou now understand my speech?
Yes, yes, bigger on the inside. Hurry on, we have places to go, things to see and an awful lot of running to do.
Yes, that was Jenny's line.
Accent? Well, I adopted it for you - thee, rather. See? Ha! I've been waiting for thee - you, all this time, so that we can get out of here.
Yes, yes, the key, the key! Honestly, you must be blind to have missed it, but then, humans on a whole are rather blind little creatures. They grope about in the dark and try to change the universe, but succeed in only making ripples. Little ripples. But one day that will change. So much potential, you lot.
Are you coming? Then hurry up and get a move on! Unless you'd rather be blown to smithereens. Come along!
Didn't I mention the hidden time before? Come on, you can't be that slow. Time machine. Yes! It's a time machine.
You are coming now, right? Good. Then let's gooooooooooo!
Imagine how God must see us. Puny little specks of dust, rolling in more dust.
When will the shadows be cleansed?
By hopeless tide of wishless dread?
Who will make shudder the wind blown chime what will shake the hidden time?
Ha! Thou hast not heard!
And thou knowest not the things of which have been spoken!
Sit a while and hearken unto me, and I will tell thee of mighty deeds. Thy troubles cannot be solved by my hand, but unto thee my wisdom may I impart.
When a hero doth travel far, by and by his companion shall be meet.
A companion may not be worthy of a name, for he is hidden in the shadow of a mane.
What mane? I speak not of lions, my friend, but of other things of which there is not any word in any tongue that may describe it.
A challenge shall be given forth, that the hero must surely overcome or perish in its sight.
His companion in all likelihood shall trouble the hero's challenge and complicate his quest.
There shall be betrayal and intrigue, thwarting and scheming. Of these are there many variants.
Shall there be romance? Shall there be friendship? Unless the hero be unreal, relationships must tangle, tackle and conquer.
Patience is a virtue to many, but to wait over time, shall require thee a price. And the price may be too high to pay.
Better yet, take thy manuscript and hide it beneath thy bed or amidst the rubbish. Nay, better yet, take thee thy writing and here must thou burn it. For it is better for it to never see the light of day.
Wilt thou proclaim thy righteousness and thy power over the pen? But humble thyself and behave wisely, and a thing shall come at opportune time to steal the moonlight from the den.
Replace the cap. There, thou art. Let the sun shine forth in all its glory. Never mind, never mind.
What? Wast years of thy work? Ha! It is good.
Laugh. It is gone. Breathe the fresh air.
Now go thou forth and renew it. Create it, mould it, shape it.
Let it become. That is what thy imagination is for, is it not?
Then in the uffish stillness hear, the whispered breath of slippered year.
There. See how thou art skilled?
What? That Doctor? That raggedy man?
Nay, nay, my friend. Again, I say nay. He is fictitious; felicitous though he may seem. A dangerous notion, if ever there were any.
Blue box?
Yes, in the past. I saw it. Of course. I met him. A delightful fellow.
Because he is! My dear fellow, just because he chooses one in billions, doth not mean he shall take even the slightest notice of thee. Therefore he is fictitious, for in reality, he can never be, for he erased himself out of time and mind.
What art thou to thy fellows?
Unique? Surely. In time thou shalt see and understand.
The former is no more. The new is come.
You have seen it? Nay, thou hast not truly seen.
Come and I shall show it thee.
Now you see? Canst thou now understand my speech?
Yes, yes, bigger on the inside. Hurry on, we have places to go, things to see and an awful lot of running to do.
Yes, that was Jenny's line.
Accent? Well, I adopted it for you - thee, rather. See? Ha! I've been waiting for thee - you, all this time, so that we can get out of here.
Yes, yes, the key, the key! Honestly, you must be blind to have missed it, but then, humans on a whole are rather blind little creatures. They grope about in the dark and try to change the universe, but succeed in only making ripples. Little ripples. But one day that will change. So much potential, you lot.
Are you coming? Then hurry up and get a move on! Unless you'd rather be blown to smithereens. Come along!
Didn't I mention the hidden time before? Come on, you can't be that slow. Time machine. Yes! It's a time machine.
You are coming now, right? Good. Then let's gooooooooooo!
Imagine how God must see us. Puny little specks of dust, rolling in more dust.
21 May, 2010
more statistics
So the meta-analysis is null and void. Why? Because the data is incompatible and re-assessment times too inconsiderate. When people make up an experiment, can they at least make it similar to one other experiment out there? Honestly. How hard can it be... but then, you gotta try avoid the plagiarism - or the accusations of such. Bleh.
Imagine, you got a 50-50 chance that your real world and your dream world are true and a 50-50 chance that you'll die in them. Yep, Doctor Who again. I've been pondering on that concept ever since SG-1's Moebius or whatever it's called and Teal'c had a problem with deciding which dream world was real. Of course it was neither. If both are realistic, it must be neither, right? But what if somebody one day really couldn't tell the difference between their dream and real world. What would happen if they died in the real world? "[They'd] die, stupid."
The dark side of Doctor Who is scary, weird and just plain annoying. Seeing as he showed his ugly face in the Doctor's reflection on the console, I won't be surprised if he makes a little cameo appearance again at some later date. Then again, maybe not. Who knows? The writers of the show can be slightly unpredictable - which is good... and that is beside the 'Aaah! Gulp. Monsters.... Aaaah! Gulp. Monsters gone. The Doctor scared them away,' or 'the Doctor saved the world/universe/insert place here' type things.
I wonder whether they'll ever bring up the Susan Foreman story line again, even though she's presumably lost along with the rest of the Time Lords in the Time War, possibly when she was President of Gallifrey. Maybe they'll get her and Jenny to meet. That'd be interesting, especially considering Jenny can travel in space, but Susan Foreman somehow obtained the Master's old TARDIS. Hmmm... It is possible, right? Or is the Timelock so locked that she got locked in it and despite having travelled the universe with the first doctor and traversed time as well, you'd think that there is a remote possibility that they will crash into each other at some stage. Not that I really care. It'd just be interesting to see what the writers would come up with.
So far, Steven Moffat is doing a scary, fine old job. It's certainly different from the previous series. Continuity is a tricky thing, but if the Doctor was shown doing different things in different parallel universes or jumping between them... Hmmm... even if it were a leg-puller... Or, maybe the Doctor only exists in one parallel universe and is absent from all others, cos the Time Lords don't exist in the parallels...
Then again, the Enemy of the Universe wasn't originally meant to be the Daleks. Who then, was it meant to be? Those weird ladies from Karn? Doubt it. What would happen if the Doctor accidentally got tricked into getting stuck on the wrong side of the Time Lock. Ooh. Now that bears some thinking. A job for the Trickster perhaps?
Forget the Who-niverse. It isn't relevant to my statistics at this stage as I twiddle with relative risks and try to work out whether they pose any danger to the effect sizes the calculator spat out.
Be kind, O thou Hedges.
Be kind, O thou numbers too foreign to my mind.
Be patient and I will sort you into comprehendable streams and sentences and relegate you to thy proper places in the report.
(Note: 'thee' is singular, where 'you' is plural - or so it is according to my understanding of ye Olde English.)
The conclusion? Don't write a systematic review unless you are willing to spend the time on learning to understand how numbers think and behave. Neither attempt a literature review if you aren't prepared to be frustrated and aggravated at every turn when the articles you search for prove entirely too elusive for your comprehensive search strategies.
Never mind.
Mousey wires
Hardly byred
By the ever-sea
Still the whistle
Of the treadle
Shot down the buzzing bee.
Imagine, you got a 50-50 chance that your real world and your dream world are true and a 50-50 chance that you'll die in them. Yep, Doctor Who again. I've been pondering on that concept ever since SG-1's Moebius or whatever it's called and Teal'c had a problem with deciding which dream world was real. Of course it was neither. If both are realistic, it must be neither, right? But what if somebody one day really couldn't tell the difference between their dream and real world. What would happen if they died in the real world? "[They'd] die, stupid."
The dark side of Doctor Who is scary, weird and just plain annoying. Seeing as he showed his ugly face in the Doctor's reflection on the console, I won't be surprised if he makes a little cameo appearance again at some later date. Then again, maybe not. Who knows? The writers of the show can be slightly unpredictable - which is good... and that is beside the 'Aaah! Gulp. Monsters.... Aaaah! Gulp. Monsters gone. The Doctor scared them away,' or 'the Doctor saved the world/universe/insert place here' type things.
I wonder whether they'll ever bring up the Susan Foreman story line again, even though she's presumably lost along with the rest of the Time Lords in the Time War, possibly when she was President of Gallifrey. Maybe they'll get her and Jenny to meet. That'd be interesting, especially considering Jenny can travel in space, but Susan Foreman somehow obtained the Master's old TARDIS. Hmmm... It is possible, right? Or is the Timelock so locked that she got locked in it and despite having travelled the universe with the first doctor and traversed time as well, you'd think that there is a remote possibility that they will crash into each other at some stage. Not that I really care. It'd just be interesting to see what the writers would come up with.
So far, Steven Moffat is doing a scary, fine old job. It's certainly different from the previous series. Continuity is a tricky thing, but if the Doctor was shown doing different things in different parallel universes or jumping between them... Hmmm... even if it were a leg-puller... Or, maybe the Doctor only exists in one parallel universe and is absent from all others, cos the Time Lords don't exist in the parallels...
Then again, the Enemy of the Universe wasn't originally meant to be the Daleks. Who then, was it meant to be? Those weird ladies from Karn? Doubt it. What would happen if the Doctor accidentally got tricked into getting stuck on the wrong side of the Time Lock. Ooh. Now that bears some thinking. A job for the Trickster perhaps?
Forget the Who-niverse. It isn't relevant to my statistics at this stage as I twiddle with relative risks and try to work out whether they pose any danger to the effect sizes the calculator spat out.
Be kind, O thou Hedges.
Be kind, O thou numbers too foreign to my mind.
Be patient and I will sort you into comprehendable streams and sentences and relegate you to thy proper places in the report.
(Note: 'thee' is singular, where 'you' is plural - or so it is according to my understanding of ye Olde English.)
The conclusion? Don't write a systematic review unless you are willing to spend the time on learning to understand how numbers think and behave. Neither attempt a literature review if you aren't prepared to be frustrated and aggravated at every turn when the articles you search for prove entirely too elusive for your comprehensive search strategies.
Never mind.
Mousey wires
Hardly byred
By the ever-sea
Still the whistle
Of the treadle
Shot down the buzzing bee.
16 May, 2010
point estimates and standard deviations
If you could freeze a point in time, any point - it would be a point estimate as you would not possibly be able to find an exact point, seeing as time is a fast moving stream. It's like trying to pick out a certain molecule of water in a river. Almost impossible... unless it is a fixed point in time - as in a fixed event. Like Doctor Who says, some events cannot be changed, or you get a paradox. In that case, it would become a fixed point estimate.
Point estimates can be variable. It's annoying, because then the calculations get more complicated and you have to remember what all the little symbols stand for. The only problem is that point estimates are useful. For example a point estimate of 1945 would be World War 2, a more accurate point estimate of that would be the end of World War 2 - but that doesn't sum up the whole year, because...drumroll... tantatara: it's an estimation. You could also say it's the 'victory of the daleks' or possibly around the time where the boy asked 'are you my mummy?' Plenty more where that came from.
I'm tired of point estimates. However my title mentions standard deviations, so let's talk a little about standard deviations and why the TARDIS has so much trouble pinpointing certain points in time. I can tell you straight up that it's the fault of variance and the standard deviation. Possibly the standard error as well. Yep, all their fault. You see, the Doctor wants to travel to a certain point in time, but because time is always in flux, always moving and has so so so so so so many variables, it's not surprising that the TARDIS sometimes accidentally misses some. Sometimes the ones it misses are the important ones when it does the calculations, so that it makes an error. Technically, it's still correct yet inaccurate, it just might be a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, years off, but it still gets there (although not always in the specified location - that might be because of the standard errors and deviations in it's Earth GPS).
Now if the Doctor specified he wanted to travel to a certain time with a standard deviation of ummm... say one, and a minimal standard error of uh, one, the TARDIS would get him as close to that point in time as it could within those specifications, because you gotta allow for error. Ask any engineer. Ask any rocket scientist. You aim to get the error as small and miniscule as possible, but the error is always still there. Imagine that. You can never be correct. You can only be nearly right.
I suppose that would apply to the Destiny in Stargate Universe too.
Now, factor space into the time complex and you get a complicated mix. Space and time are 2 separate dimensions and are treated as such; however, they are also intricately linked. The people on Destiny must be glad that they don't have to deal with this birds' nest of knotty hair. Good thing Doctor Who is a Timelord that can solve those multiple stories of mathematics in his Timelord-y brain, otherwise he'd forever be turning up at the wrong places in the wrong time and the TARDIS would never get it right. Although, I have to say, he does still make mistakes. Often. Then again, he's only a Timelord. He can't help it.
The standard deviations and errors would act as overlapping targets pointing to a specific place in a specific time, painting the area within which the TARDIS is most likely to land. Interesting. It's like that game in neopets where you have those parachuting bugs that try to land on red and white targets of varying sizes. There is room for error, but your aim is to hit the bullseye.
Have I mentioned that the latest series of Doctor Who is mildly somewhat much more scary than I anticipated? The classic series never really scared me, just cos, you know tin foil and plastic bags...great props that leave plenty of 'scope for imagination'. Note the sarcasm. The last two series of Doctor Who were reasonable. Suitably crazy and nonsensical, yet with great character moments. The current Doctor Who... well, as the 10th Doc said, when he first took over, he's 'still cooking'. Has the 11th Doctor said that? Can't remember. The Weeping Angels were freaky - but twas all good, especially considering the props are so much more realistic than the classical series. Love the accents. Gotta love the accents - bar Captain Jack Harkness. I find him more annoying than anything else. Grins too much. But if he didn't do all those 'cutesy' grins, he wouldn't be him, so I'll forgive him for not being able to help himself.
Stargate Universe on the other hand is starting to pique my interest a bit more than it did in the first half of the seaon. It started off on a flat plane, but since then, it's gained more 'wholeness' or '3-D-ness' (for lack of a better word). It's a good one for character study. Telling the story from a different perspective to what most people are used to. It's good. Saves us from getting bored of the same 'same ole, same old'. Much more interesting in the second half of the season, what with more conflicts and waving arms going 'aaaargh!'.
Anyway, I gotta get back to working out my point estimates, stomping on standard deviations, tugging t-tails, probing for values of p and digging out effect sizes before sampling whiskers from the boxes of my meta-analyses. Why, oh why statistics? Why? I can't even do long division. What am I doing trying to work out what the confidence interval means in both the fixed and variable plots and whether the null hypothesis is indeed null? Tell the numbers to be kind to my uncomprehending cerebrum, please. I'm not River from Firefly, nor Sam Carter from SG-1, nor Rodney McKay and I'm definitely no Eli. I don't play computer games. Were I to have the brain of a Timelord... actually, rather not. Those Timelord-Human metacrises aren't worth it. Look what happened to poor Donna Noble.
Well... back to the lists. Can't be late or so-and-so will strip the wax from my ears (if I don't get there first).
Point estimates can be variable. It's annoying, because then the calculations get more complicated and you have to remember what all the little symbols stand for. The only problem is that point estimates are useful. For example a point estimate of 1945 would be World War 2, a more accurate point estimate of that would be the end of World War 2 - but that doesn't sum up the whole year, because...drumroll... tantatara: it's an estimation. You could also say it's the 'victory of the daleks' or possibly around the time where the boy asked 'are you my mummy?' Plenty more where that came from.
I'm tired of point estimates. However my title mentions standard deviations, so let's talk a little about standard deviations and why the TARDIS has so much trouble pinpointing certain points in time. I can tell you straight up that it's the fault of variance and the standard deviation. Possibly the standard error as well. Yep, all their fault. You see, the Doctor wants to travel to a certain point in time, but because time is always in flux, always moving and has so so so so so so many variables, it's not surprising that the TARDIS sometimes accidentally misses some. Sometimes the ones it misses are the important ones when it does the calculations, so that it makes an error. Technically, it's still correct yet inaccurate, it just might be a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, years off, but it still gets there (although not always in the specified location - that might be because of the standard errors and deviations in it's Earth GPS).
Now if the Doctor specified he wanted to travel to a certain time with a standard deviation of ummm... say one, and a minimal standard error of uh, one, the TARDIS would get him as close to that point in time as it could within those specifications, because you gotta allow for error. Ask any engineer. Ask any rocket scientist. You aim to get the error as small and miniscule as possible, but the error is always still there. Imagine that. You can never be correct. You can only be nearly right.
I suppose that would apply to the Destiny in Stargate Universe too.
Now, factor space into the time complex and you get a complicated mix. Space and time are 2 separate dimensions and are treated as such; however, they are also intricately linked. The people on Destiny must be glad that they don't have to deal with this birds' nest of knotty hair. Good thing Doctor Who is a Timelord that can solve those multiple stories of mathematics in his Timelord-y brain, otherwise he'd forever be turning up at the wrong places in the wrong time and the TARDIS would never get it right. Although, I have to say, he does still make mistakes. Often. Then again, he's only a Timelord. He can't help it.
The standard deviations and errors would act as overlapping targets pointing to a specific place in a specific time, painting the area within which the TARDIS is most likely to land. Interesting. It's like that game in neopets where you have those parachuting bugs that try to land on red and white targets of varying sizes. There is room for error, but your aim is to hit the bullseye.
Have I mentioned that the latest series of Doctor Who is mildly somewhat much more scary than I anticipated? The classic series never really scared me, just cos, you know tin foil and plastic bags...great props that leave plenty of 'scope for imagination'. Note the sarcasm. The last two series of Doctor Who were reasonable. Suitably crazy and nonsensical, yet with great character moments. The current Doctor Who... well, as the 10th Doc said, when he first took over, he's 'still cooking'. Has the 11th Doctor said that? Can't remember. The Weeping Angels were freaky - but twas all good, especially considering the props are so much more realistic than the classical series. Love the accents. Gotta love the accents - bar Captain Jack Harkness. I find him more annoying than anything else. Grins too much. But if he didn't do all those 'cutesy' grins, he wouldn't be him, so I'll forgive him for not being able to help himself.
Stargate Universe on the other hand is starting to pique my interest a bit more than it did in the first half of the seaon. It started off on a flat plane, but since then, it's gained more 'wholeness' or '3-D-ness' (for lack of a better word). It's a good one for character study. Telling the story from a different perspective to what most people are used to. It's good. Saves us from getting bored of the same 'same ole, same old'. Much more interesting in the second half of the season, what with more conflicts and waving arms going 'aaaargh!'.
Anyway, I gotta get back to working out my point estimates, stomping on standard deviations, tugging t-tails, probing for values of p and digging out effect sizes before sampling whiskers from the boxes of my meta-analyses. Why, oh why statistics? Why? I can't even do long division. What am I doing trying to work out what the confidence interval means in both the fixed and variable plots and whether the null hypothesis is indeed null? Tell the numbers to be kind to my uncomprehending cerebrum, please. I'm not River from Firefly, nor Sam Carter from SG-1, nor Rodney McKay and I'm definitely no Eli. I don't play computer games. Were I to have the brain of a Timelord... actually, rather not. Those Timelord-Human metacrises aren't worth it. Look what happened to poor Donna Noble.
Well... back to the lists. Can't be late or so-and-so will strip the wax from my ears (if I don't get there first).
18 December, 2009
relative sizes
When designing a spacecraft or a spaceship, you want to make sure (if you care about the technical side of things and prefer to avoid later complications in a story, that is) that the sizes of your space going vessels is feasable. Unfortunately, there is much and yet little research on the area, so it's not easy to work out the tech-y side of things. Especially when you're not good at maths. Then there's the logistical side of things and the manning power, tonnage...
I don't like stories that contradict, but it's so easy to do. Then after working out what sizes of ships you may want, you want to work out what sort of FTL drive you want to give your ships so that the story doesn't end up spanning thousands of years. Faster than light travel is confusing and choosing a method of travel measurement isn't any easier.
When going with the jump drives, you need to look up folding space and instant teleportation, with something to do with warping the space-time continuum.
Warp drives and slip-stream drives are similar to jump drives as they bend the space-time dimensions around themselves.
Then you've got the hyperspace drives, where normal space is n-space, hyperspace is either h-space or z-space. It's confusing. Like wormholes, space-time is warped.
Whichever drive you choose to go with, you'll end up with massive problems such as where is all the energy requirements going to come from? How big a battery, reactor, engine, etc? Fusion or fission? Efficient solar cells? Dark energy or dark matter energy collectors? Fuel cells? Most likely, you end up having to create your own energy source, large enough to power the spaceship... but then how something small enough can produce such large amounts of energy? Well...
Doing stuff like this is a little hobby of mine. It's not important, but it's fun to do in spare time. Especially cos I'm no good at maths and don't understand a bit of spherical trigonometry, not to mention high school circular trigonometry. Extrapolating all my limited knowledge beyond the stars just skews everything. It's a nice challenge to try and make myself learn more maths.
I like to think. Our solar system is such a size and it took some of our satellites years just to reach its outskirts. If you are talking of travel between systems... How many hundreds of thousands of years you could be talking if you are travelling at light speed? Then if you want faster than light communication, is gravity a possibility? Anti gravity a possibility? Most electromagnetic waves would still move at approximately light speed.
The easiest thing to do is... well, not mention all these things in a story. BUT then the story would be all the poorer for it or so I believe.
There's still the matter of what shape a space ship should take. Should it be sleek, triangular and reduce drag? Comet shaped? UFO shaped? Amoeba shaped? Some of the coolest spaceships would probably be those based on sea creatures or micro-organisms. They just look cool. Circles and flagella and cilia.
Should a space force be based on the navy or air force or a mixture of both? Should they include marines? How many people are required to man a certain sized ship? How big is the payload?
I haven't read that much space opera or science fiction. I've only roughly followed Farscape and Firefly and Doctor Who and Stargate and the Honor Harrington series. That's plenty enough for food for thought right? Anyway, I will work away at these little questions and maybe have myself and self-made answer in two decade's time.
Here is a site I found on relative fictional space craft sizes:
http://www.merzo.net/
I don't like stories that contradict, but it's so easy to do. Then after working out what sizes of ships you may want, you want to work out what sort of FTL drive you want to give your ships so that the story doesn't end up spanning thousands of years. Faster than light travel is confusing and choosing a method of travel measurement isn't any easier.
When going with the jump drives, you need to look up folding space and instant teleportation, with something to do with warping the space-time continuum.
Warp drives and slip-stream drives are similar to jump drives as they bend the space-time dimensions around themselves.
Then you've got the hyperspace drives, where normal space is n-space, hyperspace is either h-space or z-space. It's confusing. Like wormholes, space-time is warped.
Whichever drive you choose to go with, you'll end up with massive problems such as where is all the energy requirements going to come from? How big a battery, reactor, engine, etc? Fusion or fission? Efficient solar cells? Dark energy or dark matter energy collectors? Fuel cells? Most likely, you end up having to create your own energy source, large enough to power the spaceship... but then how something small enough can produce such large amounts of energy? Well...
Doing stuff like this is a little hobby of mine. It's not important, but it's fun to do in spare time. Especially cos I'm no good at maths and don't understand a bit of spherical trigonometry, not to mention high school circular trigonometry. Extrapolating all my limited knowledge beyond the stars just skews everything. It's a nice challenge to try and make myself learn more maths.
I like to think. Our solar system is such a size and it took some of our satellites years just to reach its outskirts. If you are talking of travel between systems... How many hundreds of thousands of years you could be talking if you are travelling at light speed? Then if you want faster than light communication, is gravity a possibility? Anti gravity a possibility? Most electromagnetic waves would still move at approximately light speed.
The easiest thing to do is... well, not mention all these things in a story. BUT then the story would be all the poorer for it or so I believe.
There's still the matter of what shape a space ship should take. Should it be sleek, triangular and reduce drag? Comet shaped? UFO shaped? Amoeba shaped? Some of the coolest spaceships would probably be those based on sea creatures or micro-organisms. They just look cool. Circles and flagella and cilia.
Should a space force be based on the navy or air force or a mixture of both? Should they include marines? How many people are required to man a certain sized ship? How big is the payload?
I haven't read that much space opera or science fiction. I've only roughly followed Farscape and Firefly and Doctor Who and Stargate and the Honor Harrington series. That's plenty enough for food for thought right? Anyway, I will work away at these little questions and maybe have myself and self-made answer in two decade's time.
Here is a site I found on relative fictional space craft sizes:
http://www.merzo.net/
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