26 September, 2012

Doctor Who Pond Life transcript

I collect transcripts of some of the shows I like to keep an eye on. Video/audio doesn't always work, but text rarely ever fails. I couldn't find the transcript of the 5 mini-episodes, called Pond Life, preceding episode one of season 7 for the new Doctor Who, and so because it was relatively short comparing to an actual episode, I tried doing the transcript myself. My first. I've never done it before. More avid fans might be able to give a bit more detail on certain aspects, so let me know if I've made any mistakes.

Doctor Who
Season 7 Prequel
Pond Life

Writer: Chris Chibnall
Director: Saul Metzstein
Producer: Denise Paul


Screen type: APRIL
INT: Alien station
Metal doors slide open, to reveal the Doctor carrying a white surfing board. The air is full of smoke.

Hello, Ponds! Checking in!

There is another door in front of the Doctor, which opens to reveal suited soldiers with guns. He turns around to go back the other way, but there are more soldiers there with guns.


He turns to the side and throws his surfboard down off the edge of the station.

Not much to report. Surfed the fires of Floridor 9. Not deliberately, just the easiest way out.

He looks back at the soldiers and then jumps down after the surfboard with a long yell.


INT. Paris hotel room

Cut to another scene where he holds a slightly singed bread bun on a stick, in front of the fire. A woman in period dress walks into screen in the background and the Doctor slowly turns around.

Met Meta Harriet in a Paris hotel room.

The scene cuts to a view looking at the Doctor from between the woman' legs and her dress drops to the ground. The Doctor stares, stunned.

What an interesting woman.

INT. Recording studio

Cut to a music studio where the Doctor is in the recording room with headset and microphones and a baseball cap on backwards, dancing goofily to R&B music playing.

Laid down some backing vocals.

INT. TARDIS console room

Cut to the Doctor running around the TARDIS console, pressing buttons and pulling levers.

I should be with you any day now. Literally any day now. Helmic regulator's playing up. Can't get the temporal steering right.

A bell dings.

INT. Ponds' house

Cut scene to a house phone sitting in a cradle in the Ponds' house. Rory has just poured them both a glass of red wine.

Oh dear, it looks like the engine's grease.

Rory leans on the table while from the phone there is a whooshing sound of something releasing steam/ pressure and the Doctor yells.He presses the delete button with a beep. Amy and Rory toast/salute the Doctor with their glasses and drink.

The Doctor.


INT.Ponds' bedroom
Dark, bluish light with a view of a wooden door from the floor. The TARDIS whooshing can be heard and a light from behind the closed wooden door glows in time to the sound of the TARDIS materialising.

Screen type: MAY

Amy and Rory are sleeping in bed. The Doctor enters the room. Amy and Rory half sit up/ prop themselves up in bed in surprise. The Doctor slaps his hands over his eyes.

Oh! Stop everything!

Amy gives a surprised whoop, holding the bed sheets up over her chest.

What's going on?

Doctor. Bedroom.

The Doctor peeks out from under his hand.

We have a RULE about the bedroom.

DOCTOR (all serious, putting hands on hips by the end of his spiel)
No one is safe on this planet right now. We have to solve this before it's too late. Get your clothes on - if we're fast enough we at least stand a chance and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

AMY and RORY (together)

The Doctor looks annoyed and walks back out of the bedroom.

Hel-mic regulator again. Too early. Wrong point. As you were.

Doctor, you can't just go like that. What's happening? Don't we need to know?

The Doctor pops back into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed next to Amy.

Popped back in the wrong order, easy mistake. Nothing to alarm you. Forget I was ever here. I'll be back soon enough, I would have thought. Everything's fine, pretty much. (Gets up and walks backwards to the door) Don't worry about the future. The future's really...

Flash montage of Amy and Rory running, a triangular sort of space ship flying in space in a loop, the Doctor running on a beach toward a cliff.

...safe. (continues walking backwards to door)

Another flash montage of sassy robot, Doctor fixing a teleporter on the floor with Amy and Rory nearby, pterodactyls flying around outside a cave in a cliff, 2 T-rex dinosaurs on a spaceship, A panel flashing big red WARNING sign, missiles flying into the small space ship and the ship exploding.

... Really, really safe. (continues walking backwards to door)

Amy and Rory stare at him.

DOCTOR (whispers)
Sleep well.

The Doctor closes the door softly behind him. We hear the TARDIS engine starting up. Amy and Rory lie back in their bed and stare up at the ceiling. Rory has crossed his arms across his chest.

I really hate it when he does that.


INT. Ponds' house

View of the top of the narrow steps in the Pond house and Rory coming out of the bedroom tying on a dressing gown.

Screen type: JUNE

Rory walks down the steps, hops up ones closer to the camera that we can't see and turns to the left, off screen. We hear a door open and close.


Rory rushes back out onto screen and puts his hands to his face, looking stunned. Amy comes out of the bedroom in her pyjamas.

View from inside the bathroom. We can just see the back of someone to the left of the screen. Rory opens the door and walks in with his eyes shut. He opens his eyes and goes back out. He meets Amy outside the bathroom and puts one hand out to block her way into the bathroom. Amy looks at him.

Out of the way, Mr Pond.

Rory gives a little shake of his head and presses his lips together, eyes looking left and right.

What? Why not?

Rory give the little shake of his head again. Tilts his head toward the bathroom and then stands back, opening the door for Amy to go in and see for herself. Amy goes in, gives a little start and Rory steps in behind her with lips still pressed together. They stare. It's an Ood sitting on the toilet, his glowing communication orb in hand.

May I be - of any - assistance?

The communication globe turns off. Amy and Rory continue to stare.

Ood on the loo.


The Ood blinks.



It's dark and the central part goes up and down. TARDIS engine noise whooshes in background in time to lights.

Screen type: JULY

Some lights flash on the console and the camera goes down to show the Doctor under the TARDIS trying to fix it with his goggles on. He's on the phone.

Ood. Yes. I was wondering where he'd got to. I thought he'd just gone for a walk in the TARDIS.

INT. Ponds' kitchen

Amy and Rory are having breakfast and the phone is on another table on loudspeaker.

DOCTOR (continues)
Must've wandered in when I popped in the other night. (Amy stabs a sausage with her fork and starts eating it.) If it was the other night. You know, I rescued him from the middle of the Androvax Conflict. (Rory points at their breakfast and blows up his cheeks, shaking his head mockingly) I was taking him back to the Ood's Sphere.

INT. Under the TARDIS console
The Doctor in his goggles.

DOCTOR (continues)
Anyway, he's not being a nuisance, is he?

INT. Ponds' house
The Ood stands dispensing/ handing out Amy's floral laptop bag and Rory's lunch box for the day.

Enjoy your work day experience.

Rory flashes a white card as if to thank the Ood, not knowing what to say.

Montage of scenes showing the Ood making beds, hanging up washing and washing windows.

Doctor? Doctor... He, uhm, seems to think he's out butler.

Rory is in kitchen talking on phone, Amy sitting at kitchen table, both watching the Ood washing the window outside.

INT. Under the TARDIS Console

The Doctor stoops amongst the wires hanging from the ceiling, talking on the phone.

He's conditioned to serve. You know, the best thing is, let him do just that. I'll come and pick him up tonight, whenever tonight is.

An alarm sounds and red light flashes on the Doctor's face.

Oh, no, gotta go. Power drain's threatening to cause the TARDIS to implode.

INT. Ponds' kitchen

Rory has his lips pressed together.

Oh, no, that's bad. Nononono, don't do that!

Rory walks away from window.

Cut to the Ponds sitting down at the kitchen table. The Ood has a white apron on and is serving their coffee. They already have plates of food in front of them. They give the Ood small, strained smiles of thanks.

Your infusions. How else may I be of service?

The Ood holds up his communication globe. Rory leans in toward Amy.

I feel so guilty.

Just eat your breakfast.

They both take a drink and look up at the Ood.

AMY and RORY together (awkward)


EXT. TARDIS is out somewhere green.

There is an old wooden ladder next to the TARDIS and the Doctor is fixing the TARDIS light.

Screen type: August

Ponds, me again. Sorry about the gaps in communications. Dropped your Ood back home, reconnected it to the Hive Mind.

INT. Ponds' house
Hear the Doctor's voice coming out of the phone on the table. He is leaving a message.

Helmic regulator's still not working...


Doctor is climbing down the ladder.

... Got hit by an arrow on Hastings Hill. Also rode a horse through 11th century Coventry.

INT. A room with furs and stick wall separators...

Doctor is making dough and sitting across from him is an asian ?Mongol dressed sort of man, scoffing dough bits from another bowl and both of them laughing. The Doctor rubs his belly as if to say, 'good, yeah?'.

Also, also, I-I think I may have invented pasta.

EXT. Outside the Ponds' front door

The Doctor rings the door bell and waits expectantly holding a black umbrella. It's raining. Nothing happens and he presses the door bell three more times in quick succession. He looks up.

I popped 'round, but you were out.

INT. Ponds' house
Phone in the cradle on table, recording message.

Which is fine.

EXT. Ponds' front door

Doctor stands at front door with umbrella, looking disappointed. He walks back down the street to where the TARDIS is parked on the roadside. There is thunder with the rain.

Everything is fine isn't it?

EXT. Ponds' front door
Slow motion - just the Doctor's voice over and the background strings music. Amy is chasing Rory out of the house. Rory carries his coat and shakes his head in anger.

With you two? 'Course it is. Ponds always fine...

Amy mouths after Rory: GET OUT!


The Doctor is standing in the doorway of the TARDIS, talking on his red phone.

... Just, just worrying unnecessarily. Anyway, just call me if you need me.

EXT. Ponds' house
Amy stands looking out after Rory, puts her hand to her mouth and is crying.

Toodle pip.

Doctor standing in the doorway worrying. He takes out his sonic screwdriver and points it at the red phone, deleting the message on the Ponds' phone.

INT. Ponds' house where the phone sits.
The number of messages on the the phone can be seen in red: 01
There is a beep and the phone says in a woman's voice: Message deleted.
The number of messages turns to: 00

The Doctor's screw driver whirs. The Doctor still looks worried.

INT. Ponds house where the phone sits
The front door in the background of the screen opens and closes. Amy walks in. She drops her stuff and then comes to see if there are any messages on the phone. She looks in front of her.

We need you, Raggedy Man.

Amy looks up.

I need you.

Long shot on Amy.

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